What to get for the person who has everything?

Have a difficult relative on your holiday gift list this year? Well, look no further. Dave Barry has come to the rescue, as he does every year, with his Holiday Gift Guide. Every year I say, "I can't believe these are real things you can buy!" but they are. I'm sad, though, that there is nothing toilet-related in this year's list. I guess they've finally done everything that can be done with toilets.

This year I think I'm partial to the Tattoo Sleeves. Since I am not the least bit interested in being stabbed repeatedly with a needle, and yet feel a bit left out when my friends are showing people their tattoos, I think this would be a nice (removable) alternative.

The one that really kind of scares me is the 10 Plagues Bowling Pin Set. Are they serious? Is this something people are actually buying? And I had to go look up what the ten plagues were, because I could only think of frogs and locusts. I can just imagine some parent playing this with their preschooler. "Oh, honey, that's great, you got a split! If you hit 'locust' just right he'll fly over and take out 'the dead firstborn'!" Whoa.

The first thing I thought when I saw the Freud-head lollipops was "Oh, it looks like Tim Gunn! Only with a beard!" Wouldn't that be FABULOUS? There's the Tim Gunn bobblehead - can Tim Gunn lollipops be far behind?

Anyway, I hope you all get a good giggle from that. Thanks to my sister for bringing it to my attention. (What size arms do you have, sis? We could get matching tats for Christmas and give Mom a heart attack. On second thought, she'd probably want some too. Wanna go halvsies?)