Project Runway S4 - It’s Sew Time…

…to stop with the puns in taglines for every single series, Bravo. I’m sew serious. Stop.

To usher in this season, Bravo decided to put on a little fashion show at Lincoln Center and show off the new designers. I think this was an excellent idea. Now, instead of forming my opinions based on headshots alone (I’m still sorry, Kayne, loveyameanit!), I got to actually see some clothing.

The show started with Daniel Vosovic’s mom doing the welcomes. (Okay, it’s NOT his mom, but Bravo prez Lauren Zalaznick looks enough like Daniel that she could be his mom.) Then Heidi came up in a blue dress that... how do I describe this? Remember the original “Parent Trap” movie where one of the twins cuts the back out of the other twin’s party dress while she was leaning up against a deck rail at the dance? Someone did this to Heidi’s dress, but in the front. I don’t know how she managed to not notice. Anyway, she did a lot of thank you’s and welcomes, then went into the sponsor list. Apparently the Macy’s collaboration from last year didn’t work out so well, so this year is sponsored by about eight hundred different companies, all of which will have blatenly obvious product placement throughout the season.

Let’s start the show! (Clicking on the designer’s name will take you to Daniel Vosovic’s blog, where you can see pictures of their three outfits, along with Daniel’s much wittier comments. I’ll do half of the designers today and the rest tomorrow.)

Kevin: I thought the first dress was best of his three - a nice little cream-colored piece with a bustier top and black trim. The other two looks were classic pieces in reds and blacks. I do have to say that I am not a fan of shorts as pieces in fashion shows, and definately not in hip-and-thigh-widening plaids. (He scored a S3 model whose name I can never remember, but she had to put up with Angela a lot.)

Victorya: All of her dresses seemed to be the same basic style in different colored fabric – a navy, a pink, and a red. One had a trench coat (did she make that? It was nice). Her big plus was having Camilla from S3 as a model.

Elisa: Beige EVERYWHERE - a surreal hooded jogging outfit with a cut-up-to-the-unmentionables skirt instead of sweatpants, a dress with weird straps and a corset-styled back, and a longish nightgown. Nice to see model Javi from S3 (love the haircut). Oh, and Elisa's models were wearing NO SHOES, which made her stuff look even more like pajamas.

Rami: He showed a cute little silver mini with interesting pleating, and a black sleeveless Morticia Addams dress (hey, there’s Amanda from S3). First thing I thought when I saw the black number was “This is the dress Malan wanted to make for Miss USA last year”. Rami's last piece was a dusty coral-hued dress with blousey draping and a wide waistline with some detailing that reminded me of the stays of a corset (modeled by the lovely Marilinda from S3).

Simone: Pink! Green! My eyes!! This seriously reminded me of some of the mix-and-match outfits my daughter puts on her Barbie dolls. (And this is a girl who will wear orange flowered capri pants with an electric purple polka-dot shirt.) The first two looks were miniskirt variations (Pink! Green! Shiny!). Her last one was black shorts and a creamy white jacket with a pink halter top underneath. It looked nothing like other ones. Plus, someone cut the wrist parts off all her gloves. (And at least one of her hems had strings hanging off of it.)

Marion: His first look – a nondescript skirt-over-pants and jacket in black and white - came down the runway on an extremely clumpy model. (I’ve seen baby elephants who could walk the runway better than that! I hope she's not one of this season's models.) His other two looks were a silvery-black dress with some odd cutouts at the top and a feather pillow exploding out of the bottom, and an Eighties-inspired one-shoulder poof dress with a thin skirt.

Jillian: Her first model teetered down the runway in too-tall boots. The outfit was a wheaty-gray military-styled peplum jacket with fur-rimmed hood, paired with olive pants. The second was a silver mini-dress with lace overlay and the garters showing. (Oh! I remembered the model's name. Clarissa. And she looks like she's been crying, or perhaps is merely suffering from allergies.) Last was an outfit that looked like it belonged in a sci-fi series about stylish military vampires – a high-necked silver coat and mullet dress (you know, long in back - short in front) that was accessorized by tights made of discarded Mylar balloons.

To be continued… in the meantime, catch a video of the show here.