"It's the d*** "make a dress out of... challenge"

Project Runway screeched back onto the airwaves with a familiar challenge - take unusual materials and make an outfit. In season 1 it was things you could buy at the grocery store. In season 2 it was plants and flowers. This time around, it's "whatever you can grab from your apartment in 15 minutes", and boy, did they do some deconstruction. They totally trashed the places - cutting the covers off of mattresses, bar stools, and pillows; ripping down curtains, wall hangings, and sconces; and basically grabbing any piece of decor they could find that wasn't bolted down (although they did have a box of tools if they really wanted to unbolt something). Bradley took the cover of Robert's pillow-from-home, and he was really bummed about it. Malan was disgusted by the animalistic nature of the entire thing (he prefers using higher-quality fabrics, he says snootily). Everybody else generally looked like they were having a ball. Judging by the materials they were able to scrounge, it looked to me like their apartments were a bit "Santino'd" to give them extra things to scavenge. I hope Atlas wasn't too attached to that stuff. (I don't think Bravo's going to get its deposit back, either.)

So they get all their loot stuffed into laundry bags, which they then drag over to Parsons to start working. Of course they're all eyeing each other's materials and nobody likes anybody else's. Katy and Bradley have grabbed down comforters, and there are feathers everywhere. Kayne's fashioning a bodice from a red rubber floor mat. Keith's just using navy bedsheets. Laura has found a fur rug and makes a gigantic collar for a coat, then adds chandelier pieces to the bottom. Vincent, dear goofy yet likable Vincent, has found himself a wicker basket and is using it for a hat - sort of a pillbox in style, like Jackie Kennedy might have worn if she was a bag lady. Angela has brought the leather cover of a chaise lounge and is making a skirt, and I think she has a bunch of artifical flowers also. Jeffrey - I don't know what he's doing - it looks like red electrical tape all over his top. Malan has a lovely warm-looking knitted afghan throw. Uli found some kind of dangly chartruse-bead thing. Michael is making his entire dress out of... coffee filters! Folded into wedges, they actually look more fabric-y than some of the actual fabric other people are using. Bonnie... well, she's got something red but I'm not sure what it is (turns out to be a duvet cover). Robert's making what looks like... a Barbie dress (well, that's what he does for a living, might as well stick with what works I guess). Stacey has grabbed a bunch of white stuff (curtains, mostly) and some gold rings. We also discover that she doesn't know how to use the industrial sewing machines and is going to HAND SEW the dress. Alison has some nondescript materials (probably curtains) that look like they might be a bit on the pinkish side. Yawn.

Tim comes in and looks concerned all over the workroom.

The funniest part of the entire episode, for me, is when the designers trudge back to the Atlas, ready for some shut-eye before the stressful day in front of them, and find that their apartments are STILL trashed. What did they think, the magical apartment fairies were going to come wave their sparkly whickety-whack wands and poof! everything flies back together like the nursery cleaning scene in "Mary Poppins"? PR is not going to let them off THAT easily! You trashed your beds, now lie in them.

Morning comes - trudge back to Parsons; fit the models; TreSemme L'Oreal-Paris Macy's; sewsewsew; Vincent about has a fit of rapture over his hat and puts his model in bug-eye sunglasses while everyone else thinks he's insane; Malan makes smarmy expressions; Keith rips everything off his dress that's not actual fabric (he had put that stuff on because Tim was concerned he wasn't innovating with the materials enough); Stacey's skirt is see-through so she rapidly makes a pair of boy-shorts for her model; each of the designers thinks they're going to win, which of course cannot happen. And I'm sure everyone - and I mean, everyone there and everyone watching on TV, and even people who don't own TV sets - thinks Vincent will be out. Except him. He's grooving on his design, and I say - groove on, Vincent; you can't win but I hope you're not out.

Runway time! Heidi repeats at least 18 times that you're either in or you're out and one of you will be the winner and one of you will be out. Yeah, we know, they know, everybody knows. The judges make some amusing faces during the show (Michael hates Vincent's hat!) and Jeffrey's model throws feathers in the air and has strangely Gumby-like arms with no hands. (Theatrics! No-no. Reminds me of that guy in season 1 who had his model flip off the camera before she went backstage.) Katy has made a dress from bright blue plastic bags with a large, puffy gunman's duster. Laura's big furry coat makes a lot of noise when the model walks (due to chandelier parts on the hem). Bradley's outfit makes me think of oatmeal - warm, mushy, and bland. I like Robert's dress - nice cherry-red sash and bows in the back with built-in jewelry.

I wasn't overly impressed with any of the outfits, mostly because they're not my style. The judges weren't overly impressed, either, and in the end picked Keith's bedsheet dress (ooo, he used red buttons on the back! How cute! How *gag*. It's a sheet. I could have made it) and of course he was all like "it's my first dress ever," which made me think of Chloe from last season ("It's my first time at menswear" - she won that challenge, so maybe there's something to this... hmm). He went into this long spiel about Scarlett O'Hara and Carole Burnett - to quote Jay McCarroll, "That's a big talk you just had there." Poor Stacey and her "granny panties"/"top fits like the pillow's still in there" dress are out. My personal choice for the winner would have been Michael and his cute coffee-filter dress, because I think he followed the challenge better than Keith, and used more innovation in his materials.

All in all, a highly entertaining show. I hope by next week they at least get their beds back. They're going to need all the sleep they're allowed to get. Although... I'm thinking the guys rooming with Malan might want to sleep with one eye open, 'cause he might possibly be a vampire.